Sunday, May 29, 2011

*I don't even know*

how I have the strength to type this
or even share...
I don't even know if I'll have the right words,
all I know is as I'm typing...the tears are flowing.

I don't even know how I'm doing this.
but I am.
They say things like this helps with healing...
I hope so. I need healing....

(**warning, might be a tad bit long of a post with pics...**)

if you're wondering what I'm talking about
& you don't follow me on Facebook or Twitter...
yesterday our 8 year old Cajun:

collapsed & died after a sudden deadly onset of Canine Diabetes
(he had what they call Diabetes Ketoacidosis)

It's too soon for me to really talk about how & what all happened,
maybe I'll never really be able to.. especially without crying my eyes out,
but our sweet boy was taken by a terrible disease
a disease I HATE with a passion.

Our hearts are so empty.
SO empty.
I miss him tremendously.

he was the funniest thing. he would only let ME walk him.
if anyone even tried, he'd sit his hiney down on the street like...
"umm...nope, no way jose! now go get my momma."

i love him as if he was my own REAL human child.
Funny thing I like to say when I'm asked how many kids I have
"6..... 2 human and 4 furboys."

it's true. that's our life...we love our animals!

all of them were rescued.
Cajun was our #2 rescue boy.
He was dumped at a nearby lake
with 3 of his brothers as newborns.
He's the runt of his litter.

An angel (his foster mommy) found the litter & nursed them all back
to health so they could be adopted out...God bless her!
When Cajun was 5 weeks old, he got so sick & was near death again.
After 4 weeks of his foster mommy nursing him back to health yet again...
he and his brothers were put up for adoption by H.A.R.T.
(they were working out of Petsmart this day...)

(can you tell who's dog he started out to be???)
he's been the light of our lives!

I used to sing this to him:
(to the the tune of Ernie singing "rubber ducky")
"little puppy, you're the one, you make our lives so much fun, little puppy i'm awfully fond of you"
(the day we brought him home at 9 weeks old)

and a few of my other faves of his puppy days:

wrestling with brother Bandit...his best bud

(some of these pics are pics of pics...sorry for the yucky quality!)

he would sit & stare at himself in this mirror forever
then bark like he was saying hi ... it was funny!
if he heard you laughing or taking pics...he'd look at you like...
"what? have you never seen cute before?"

cute is exactly what he was...
from here..

to here:

to here:

gosh. words can't even describe how much we miss you.
thank you for being our world the past 8 years.

you've been the best little furboy ever. EVER.

i bet you're chasing all the birds you can find
& catching butterflies on your nose...

love you, always.
your humans.


I was talking to my husband & told him I'd really like to do something to
prevent as many people as I could from having to go
through the awful events we just did ...
so, we both decided we would do just that.
he posted this on his Facebook status today & I loved it & wanted to share:

"from tragedy sparks desire. we will create a nonprofit for
canine diabetes awareness and treatment.
If one exists we will support it."

thank you friends for reading this novel.
it's truly been therapeutic for me.
my heart is still as empty as all get out...
but it's starting to get easier to talk about.


Chris and Paige Evans said...

I am so so so so so sorry Leslie! My heart is still aching after my silly bird died! It's getting better, but I know the pain you're feeling. Just focus on the "chasing all the birds you can find & catching butterflies on your nose..." part :)

Pam said...

Leslie, I am so sorry for your loss of Cajun. My heart goes out to you and the rest of the family, fur babies included because I know they will miss their brother dearly. I have been where you are and I feel your pain and am sending you big hugs.

Amy Coose said...

Oh, Les. This just breaks my heart. I am so sorry for your loss. Sending huge hugs!

Becky Handforth said...


SO, So, Sorry I hurts so much when you lose your 4 leeged family member so suddenly. Take the time and just cry. My thoughts are with you.

Linda.B said...


I enjoy reading your blog and love your creations. I want to tell you I am very sorry for your loss. I love my fur babies as if they were human too. What a wonderful tribute to Cajun to create the nonprofit in his memory.

I hope the wonderful memories of Cajun will bring you joy in the days ahead.

Linda B.

Danielle Calhoun said...

Leslie, I am so sorry for your loss. I loved seeing the pictures you posted of your little furbaby. He is sooooo adorable. I wish I could be there to give you a big hug and comfort you. You know I am thinking about you & praying for you.

April said...

Oh Leslie, I'm so very sorry to hear this sad news. Big hugs and prayers coming your way hon...
- April

Diana Waite said...

I have never left you a comment although I am a fan. I am really sorry for your loss--love those fur babies they are such a part of our family. I hope the memories of your Cajun bring you joy--he sounded so special.

pattyo said...

Oh, I am so sorry! I know exactly how you feel. My last little guy passed away from lung cancer of all things three years ago, and I still feel my insides clutch when I think about him. He was the most perfect dog. It takes time to heal but never goes completely away. We have another little one to love now, but I'll never forget our other little baby.

Suezi said...

So sorry dear sweet Leslie!! My heart breaks for you and your family. Losing a pet is just about the worst ever!! We do think of them as human...I know we think of our girl Lola Grace as our 3rd kid for sure. I pray that your precious memories can bring a smile to your face during this sad sad time.

kimosabescraps said...

Oh Leslie... I am soooo sorry to hear of your loss. It truly is one of the hardest things I have ever gone through, losing my pet. I think sometimes they are even more loved and taken care of then humans at times... It is a HUGE loss for your family and my prayers are for you during this sad time.

I am . . . said...

Hi Leslie,
we lost our sweet,sweet dog just 9 days ago. he was too young at 8 1/2 to leave us. my eyes are filled with tears as I type this. I am sorry for the heartache you must be facing. my thoughts are with you.

Scrap Happy said...

Nothing can ease this pain for you. I lost my first baby, a yorkie named Cheater, in March 2010. It was awful. Thank you for sharing those adorable pics!